Girl vs. Tomorrow

People love a good countdown. I love a good countdown! The build up of excitement, the anticipation of things to come… it’s all so delicious. The ball dropping in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, Facebook statuses announcing “Two weeks ’til I’m in Cabo San Lucas!”, “Only 6 essays left of the Bar Exam!”, “19 days until our wedding!” and on and on and on…. I’m a sucker for a good countdown.

This morning after a little p90x Kenpo Cardio, (I’m currently in the middle of a torrid love affair with Tony Horton, which on most days is less love and more “If this is how P!nk got her rockin’ body, Tony must be doing something right.”) our little friend, Monkey, came to our room for help booking a hotel in Vegas. A and I have become somewhat the Go-To-Girls for all things Vegas. No one really takes into consideration that we haven’t lived there in over 5 years and that menagerie changes faster than my favorite head-lining drag queen on a Sunday night between a Cher montage and Whitney’s “Greatest Love of All”. But we help when we can. I digress… After booking Monkey’s stay in Vegas I had a moment to think about the next 6 months of my life…which includes but is not limited to:

5 more weeks in Quebec City, 1 month home in Las Vegas which will include visits from my favorite gay Aussie couple, 4/6 of my best friends from high school (including myself, known as The Super 7…wasn’t high school fun?!), 4 days of Monkey, plenty of time with my little sister, LJ (who is way cooler at 15 than I could ever be at 27), a trip to Disneyland to run the “Fabulous 5K” with A and Mommy and THEN

4 days in Ireland, 3 months in Amsterdam where I will run my first (eek!) Half-Marathon, and 6 weeks in delectable London where I’ll get to catch up with my darling Zo, spend Christmas on the same streets as Harry Potter (my boyfriend) and ring in 2011 watching the fireworks amidst a Big Ben backdrop.

Fun! (and exhausting)

The  eagerness for all that fun-having is a bit overwhelming. And it came to me, the more I think about how great tomorrow will be, the less I have the time (or attention span) to think about how great today is. “Aye, there’s the rub…”

And in comes yoga. (You knew it was coming, friends. All things are yoga.) In my practice, especially over the last year, I have truly tried to inhabit the concept of remaining present. Meditation has brought me closer than ever to feeling Now. When you think about it, sitting still, in silence for just 10 minutes and completely observing what is going on in the present moment… how often do you get the opportunity to do that? Sure you have plenty of time to stop and think, on the bus to work, waiting in line at the grocery store, at airport security while they look through your jacket, shoes, watch, carry-on, water bottle, underwear… but these are times we’re forced to stop. If you don’t have a regular meditation practice, how often do you choose to sit with yourself and just observe? Just be? My guess is not too often. And I’m no expert. I’ve had to give myself a “Meditation Challenge” of at least 10 minutes a day which on many days I’m lucky to complete. When I first came to my teacher training and was asked to meditate, wow, let me tell you how many show-tunes got me through the moments of silence on the beach. It’s a practice though. You’re not supposed to be good at it the first time. I may have a bad-ass Vasisthasana (Side-Plank Pose), but quieting my mind? Practice, practice, practice.

Running has been another tool that is capable of snapping me into the present moment. It’s too challenging to think about my To-Do List or having a picnic in the park next Monday when “I’m going to die, I’m not going to die, I’m going to die, I’m not going to die, I can do this, No I can’t, Yes I can, No, Yes, No, Yes….” is on constant loop in my head. It also causes me to come into my body (shhh…just like yoga!) when I am forced to take my awareness to the pain in my left knee, or how quickly my legs are moving today. It’s a beautiful thing.

After I completed my teacher training on that magical beach in Mexico (plenty of material for later posts), I decided to stay a few days longer and relax (such a grueling month at yoga school! Ha!) before heading back to the chaos of Mexico City and my “normal” existence with the circus. During my training I befriended a supernatural girl from BC, The Surfer, who was also hanging around for a few days. One of those days we found ourselves in the back of a pickup truck, speeding down the highway to Los Cardones, a surfing lodge where we’d be camping for the next few nights, escorted there by the owner. Cacti whipping past us, salty, damp wind in our hair, scratchy sand still caked to our toes… For no apparent reason, The Surfer looked at me and said something to the effect of “It’s so easy to look down the road to see what’s coming at you, where you’re going. The challenge is looking out the window and seeing where you are right now.”  Uh, YEAH!

“So what’s the point, GirlSeekingBliss?”, you ask. The point, my friends is if you’re too focused on what’s to come, how can you possibly enjoy or even befriend what is? You can’t. My father, the voice of all that is practical and fact in this life, always says “Failing to plan, is planning to fail.” ( I may get him a t-shirt with that printed on it.) Basically, he’s saying that if I want to have a successful and happy future, I need to plan for it now. And while that’s all well and good I’d like to pay more attention to where I am, rather than where I’m going…because who knows if I’ll ever get there…wherever “there” is. And what about a successful and happy present? I refuse to be one of those people who is told their entire life how amazing my life is, but I don’t realize that until it’s past.

So, I’m all about looking forward to tomorrow, but I’m focusing on today. The alternative is waking up one morning and (after my p90x, of course) wondering where the hell all my yesterdays went.

“No day but today.”


Tomorrow: 0


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rebecca Haley
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 18:02:21

    always a joy


  2. Daniele Bienvenue
    Aug 01, 2010 @ 13:05:29

    Johny Bunko’s fans (aka Dan Pink) also learned the #1 lesson in life: There is NO Plan!!! Thanks for reminding us.


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